Saturday, January 26, 2013

Limbo

I dislike living in a state of limbo. I am a planner, I like to know what's happening, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.

But lately, so much on the horizon, so much just hanging out there with no resolution in sight, so much going on since the last time I posted. Looking back it all seems really trivial, the disappointment that I felt in my last post. I think I was more heartbroken than my child about the injustice that was done to my sweet little boy.

It seems inconsequential, when, right now the Mailman's job is on the line, and the very best-case scenario there is, results in a 27% paycut for him. So, all in all, not good.

Even with me working (I am working now, yes, one reason I am not blogging) things are tight. And we are trying to decide,

do the girls need to be on the gymnastics team?
no, you do not need a $47.94 new swim team swimsuit, a used, non-matching one will do
dinner out is not an option

and we are carefully adding up our grocery bill as we walk through the grocery store, putting things back that go over the budget.

and I know they will get worse--and there is not much I can do. but I have to remember, that God is good. Always. In everything. In every situation, even when it seems hopeless, it's not. And I'm believing that I will look back on this day of job-searching, number-crunching, and worrying (even though I know I'm not supposed to, because I know God's got this)--and I will wonder why I worried. This will seem inconsequential.

God has provided
cash from an anonymous donor when no one knew we needed it
hand me downs from people we barely knew (who just felt led to give them to us)
food from parents, and from friends who bought extra on sale
doors opening just when we begin to think they are locked

So I know God's got this as well.

Matthew 6:33-34

The Message (MSG)
30-33 “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
34 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes