Tuesday, March 6, 2012

And the case of the missing motivation...

Today was probably the first warm, consistently sunny day we've had in, oh, I don't know how long. It was the sort of day that makes you want to go outside and run, if your knees don't hurt too much.

Today, Bea went to a playdate, but had to come early because the friend she was intending to play with was sick...so she played with the friend's grandma instead.

Today, El was diagnosed with ringworm on the back of her leg. And all 4 kids and I got a good giggle waiting on the doctor to come in because one of the other kids remarked that the spot looked like a piece of pepperoni. And of course, giggling and overall silliness ensued. To the point that the doctor couldn't help but laugh when Henry told him that we thought it looked like pepperoni.

Today I lost my motivation too. I always think, if the sun would only shine, THEN I would be motivated again. But somehow, somewhere along the line...even with the sun shining today...I lost it. Just sort of gave up. But the good thing is, instead of doing what I needed to be doing, I hung out on the back patio while the 2 younger kids played on the treehouse for the first time this season. I witnessed the inaugural treehouse meeting of 2012, if you will.

Today I realized for real that there is a good chance Bea won't be ready for kindergarten in the fall. She apparently can write her first name, but 99.9% of the time, chooses to just write "B". So, either lack of readiness or unwillingness...in any case, she'll likely not be ready.

Today I read lots of other people's blogs and got that awful, dreaded feeling I get sometimes when I am aware of my inadequacies. My house is not organized like it should be, I don't have one surface in my house covered with chalkboard paint, and I have never made a decent banner out of fabric.and I've never made cake pops. And I don't photograph newborns for a living. Sigh, blog envy. 

And today I realized I can't do it all. Not all at once. I have all these voices in my head...you know what I mean, right?

All of these things I should be
thinking about
praying about

Enjoying? I know I will someday when it's all perfect. But why not now, when it's not perfect?

I'm sure I'm not the first, or only, person to feel that way. So here goes.

off to heat up cans of soup for supper, clear the junk off the kitchen table, and serve the warmed up soup to my children with their messy hair and mismatched socks (because, yeah, laundry is probably behind).

I've got to be okay with that.

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