I've had no less than 3 people in the last few weeks tell me something along the lines of " I don't know how you do it" or "You do such a good job with your family" or some other such nonsense (in my mind anyway).
If only they knew. The house, the disorganized mind, the kids arguing and me, well, losing my patience so frequently. The marvel of how I do it pales in comparison to the marvel of why they think I do it so well.
Today was not my finest moment as a mother. The kids are home on fall break today and tomorrow and by 11 a.m., we had more than our share of arguing (them), empty threats (me), yelling (all of us), and at one point, I'm embarrassed to admit, I crawled into bed and literally covered my head with the duvet. I admittedly have wished to crawl into bed and cover my head on more than one occasion, but today is the first day I can remember I've actually done it.
and while I was in the middle of tossing the decorative pillows on the floor and pulling back the cover, virtually un-making the bed, I couldn't help but think, I'm undoing the one thing that I have accomplished today.
Henry's violin teacher called while I was under the covers and I had to fake-cheerfully talk to her. I hate when someone calls while things are not going so swimmingly and I have to fake-cheerfully talk to people on the phone. I'm sure my kids wonder who has taken over my body when I suddenly am the happiest mom on the planet. And I'm sure they are disappointed when I'm off the phone and turn back into mean mom again.
As all of this was transpiring, it occurred to me, I'm so glad I don't homeschool my kids.
Because this, indeed, would be the picture, on many days. Me cajoling/bribing/threatening the kids into doing their schoolwork, them resisting, them arguing, me getting frustrated, and then, at my wit's end, crawling back into bed.
Which brings me to my next point. The people who are disillusioned enough to somehow think I have my act together. One of them homeschools her three children, and has a career, to boot. And she told me of all people, "I don't know how you do it." Meaning that my kids are super-busy and involved with all sorts of extra-curricular activities. I told her, "I don't know how you homeschool!"
and it's true. I don't. Kudos to those of you who do it. I wish I had the fortitude. I have the degree, just not the patience, and certainly not the overall mental werewithall.
The day got a little better in the afternoon. Better: as in none of the children hurt each other and I don't think I yelled anymore. Better: as in I didn't spend any time in bed. I remade the bed shortly after my 10 minute stint under the covers--and it stayed made for the remainder of the afternoon.
So, better in my book. And my goal of having the kids clean up their rooms, well it didn't get completed, but progress was made. And we all know progress is better than no progress...or yelling.
and tonight, the Mailman (my hero) just finished up carving the pumpkins with the kids.It was apparently suggested that I help carve the pumpkins with the kids instead of him, since our schedule was tight, and that was a no-go. The kids don't expect Mom to do it, they expect Dad. And so it was.
The pumpkins just got ceremonially lit, and were blown out, and kids are heading to bed.
It wasn't exactly what I had hoped for but it's almost over. Another day, that I'm blessed by all I have. And even in my frustration, I'm blessed.