So really

I am going to try this again. The quest for being okay with everything. I had a good week, things were good. Good weekend, made a decent chunk of change, and (possibly), more importantly, my house lost some weight in my garage sale this weekend. The baby of the family turned *4* yesterday. Should have been a good weekend.

But somewhere along the line, as it often does, this dark cloud formed. I can't even explain where it comes from, and I don't really want to go into it, but it sort of followed me yesterday evening, into this morning, into this afternoon, and then, as usual, the Sunday afternoon blahs crept in, which only magnified the dark cloud.

Which I still can't explain.

Part of it is this thing, this inadequacy, I can't really put my finger on. The baby needs her fourth birthday party, and I don't feel prepared to give it to her here. At our house.

But I need to get things where I feel okay about them. I know things will never be perfect, we will never have everything exactly the way we want them (or...who am I kidding...the way I want them). And the Mailman is so patient with me, he is really trying. Even when I don't want him to.

But I'm going to try. I'm going to go to bed tonight, then wake up tomorrow. And try again.