Sunday, November 6, 2011

Thankful Days and Days I'm not so sure...

Well, yesterday got away from me and before I knew it, I didn't post. The business of the kids' play and the bad funk I've been in for a week plus...I just didn't have the time or focus to post.

And as it turns out, today brings to a close Week 3 of  (Be ready by...) PROJECT 2012. 

Can you say FAIL?

I'm being very honest and very serious when I say that often, I wonder if I need medication for this rollercoaster of emotions I ride. When I'm in that bad place that I was in this past week (and really, some of the week before, I just had a brief respite last Sunday), it was hard to tear myself out of it, except for a few moments here and there.  But when I'm feeling better, more energetic, motivated, task-oriented, today, I think I can do it all, with a prayer and some good music playing. And so it goes til the next dip in my emotional road (oh, who am I kidding, it's not a dip at all, it's one of those super tall peaks that I come crashing down from at lightning speed........or perhaps it happens slower but the intensity and depth of the valley is the same).

And it happens, inevitably, and I still can't pinpoint why. Sometimes it's something that gets in my head and makes me begin to worry needlessly and stew about some problem. Sometimes I wake up and can't get going, and it begins. Sometimes it's an argument with a loved one (okay......the Mailman normally...not just any loved one).

But when I'm up, I feel I can conquer the world. And that's where this challenge came from. So on an off-week, my to do list seems hopelessly insurmountable. And overwhelming. In a week where I can't even seem to function enough to wash dishes, my challenge seems ridiculous. So this week was.

I did manage to cross off just a few things, but suffice it to say, I'll be backtracking a bit this next week, to try to make up for some lost time.

In a nutshell, regarding my BIG list, I didn't get much done. And much of what I got done was accomplished on the 2 days that the Mailman was home. Having him home motivates me, makes me feel better all the way around, and keeps me going somehow. Too bad he normally works long hours 6 days a week.

So tomorrow I am going to revamp my lists a bit, and I'm wondering, maybe they need to be made more do-able. ?  Could it be I've, once again, set my expectations too high?

Before I forget, I did not forget to be thankful. Today's item I am especially thankful for, and really it sort of covers both days, I guess.

That one extra hour of sleep last night! Got a really good night's sleep and I do feel more refreshed today, despite a nagging headache.

So even though I hate "springing forward", it should be noted that I love, love, love "falling back".

Here's hoping that the extra rest, the renewed motivation, and the sort-of clean house will be enough to get me going tomorrow, and for the rest of the week. We shall see.

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